Friday, September 13, 2013
The Call
Outside I hear the falling of the rain, slow at first and then a crescendo of water symphony picking up the pace only to gently cease once again to a gentle pitter patter of drops. I love the rain. It washes away the dust from the air and the smell is overpowering lending itself to a brand new chapter, a new day, a restart of something fresh. Life is like that. Each day we face new challenges, new beginnings, a hope of a tomorrow that will lead us to something wonderful. Only once in awhile you may hit a rut in the road that knocks the air right out of your sails. A blow so devastating that you suck in your breath and feel as if you will never breath again.
August 22, 2013 I had surgery for a total shoulder replacement. Outside a few complications nothing to do with the shoulder, it went fine. I was in and out of the hospital in 4 days and finally back home where I could recover in my familiar surroundings, the comfort of my own home. I find the older you get the longer it takes to recover, but I was determined to be bouncing back in 2 weeks.
On the 4th day home the phone rang. Somehow I knew if I picked up that phone it was going to be the one call I did not want. I hesitated and said "hello". It was my sister-in-law and I could tell by her voice this was not going to be a conversation I wanted to hear. My brother had passed away that morning. My brother whom I had grown to love so dearly, the brother who I discussed my life with almost everyday of the year. My brother who laughed with me, at me and who I confided my deepest secrets with. The one who was my rock, my safe place to fall. Please God not this one person in my life who I loved and adored.
It's been 2 weeks and yet seems so long ago. It still has not sunken in that he is no longer here. I miss his daily calls "Sunshine, whatcha doin' Sunshine?". I still can't erase his phone number from my phone, I leave it there, hoping that by some miracle, it will show up as him calling. By erasing it would mean he no longer exists and I can't handle that. Not right now.
So until that day comes, the day that I can remember without crying, think without the pain of losing someone you love, I'll just wait for that call that never comes to hear "Sunshine, whatcha doing Sunshine?" I love you bro - always have and always will.
August 22, 2013 I had surgery for a total shoulder replacement. Outside a few complications nothing to do with the shoulder, it went fine. I was in and out of the hospital in 4 days and finally back home where I could recover in my familiar surroundings, the comfort of my own home. I find the older you get the longer it takes to recover, but I was determined to be bouncing back in 2 weeks.
On the 4th day home the phone rang. Somehow I knew if I picked up that phone it was going to be the one call I did not want. I hesitated and said "hello". It was my sister-in-law and I could tell by her voice this was not going to be a conversation I wanted to hear. My brother had passed away that morning. My brother whom I had grown to love so dearly, the brother who I discussed my life with almost everyday of the year. My brother who laughed with me, at me and who I confided my deepest secrets with. The one who was my rock, my safe place to fall. Please God not this one person in my life who I loved and adored.
It's been 2 weeks and yet seems so long ago. It still has not sunken in that he is no longer here. I miss his daily calls "Sunshine, whatcha doin' Sunshine?". I still can't erase his phone number from my phone, I leave it there, hoping that by some miracle, it will show up as him calling. By erasing it would mean he no longer exists and I can't handle that. Not right now.
So until that day comes, the day that I can remember without crying, think without the pain of losing someone you love, I'll just wait for that call that never comes to hear "Sunshine, whatcha doing Sunshine?" I love you bro - always have and always will.
Your broken-hearted sister, Brenda
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